Are you too opinionated?


I have learned the hard way to stop having opinions about other people’s lives.  Born and raised in an Italian home, my family was never slow to speak. We are quick to give our opinions and we like to think that our opinions are the best ones out there.  WRONG!  After I got married, my husband became a pastor. Being a pastor’s wife, I was learning what the meaning was to the term “be slow to speak”.  I would overambitiously (is that a word?) give my opinion when it was needed, and I perceived that my opinion was ALWAYS needed.  Besides I had been a pastors wife for a whole second, I had a lot of insight to offer right?…WRONG!  Now I wasn’t a gossip, there is a difference.  A gossip is someone who spreads rumors about others.  I didn’t spread rumors, but I spread my opinion, a lot!  Do you know what the definition of an opinion is? The websters dictionary tells me that it is “a view, judgement, or appraisal formed in the mind about a particular matter”  Did you catch that? It’s formed in our minds, its not given by God, its FORMED in our minds!  Right there we should assume that our opinions are usually wrong, tainted, and impaired.

A few things I learned….

1) What measure you judge it will be judged back to you.  Take your finger that you’re pointing at other people, what you think about their faults, their decisions, their lives and turn it around.  It will be judged back to you.

2)I had someone that ALWAYS gave their opinion about what I should be doing.  If I was going shopping, they would tell me where to go.  If I was buying a vehicle, they would tell me what to buy.  Finally, I stopped telling her what I was doing because I didn’t want to hear what she thought I should be doing anymore.  At that moment, I realized that I was the same way.  I was always giving my opinion in other peoples lives and you know what it does, it puts a wall up.  It makes them apprehensive to talk to you.  I didn’t want people to avoid me.  I had to laugh as I was looking up the word “opinion” on google, and article came up titled “5 ways to deal with opinionated people (with pictures)”  We really need those pictures to know how to deal with opinionated people, ha.  Anyway, one of the steps says to “avoid the person”  and that is exactly what people will do.  They will avoid you.  They will avoid opening up and talking to you. I didn’t want that!

3) When I am over opinionated, I have a bad attitude.  When you focus on other things, other peoples lives, it takes the focus off the things that it should be on.  It takes the focus off your family and off of God.  That is a sure sign that you will be miserable.

I wanted to be an encouragement to women, I wanted to be approachable, I wanted to be loving, I wanted to be mild, gracious, kind, pleasant, considerate, tender, polite, forgiving. All those things I was striving to be, I could not be because I was caught up on giving my speculations to everyone.  God’s ways are not our ways.  So that proves that my opinions are usually WRONG anyway.

Now don’t get me wrong, should we give opinions on things, definitely.  I want to hear other people’s opinions on things also, it helps me to see the bigger picture sometimes. Like everything, there is a balance. It is prideful to think and act as though your opinion is always absolutely right and other’s opinions are absolutely wrong.  I have learned that when I always give my opinion, it starts to fall on deaf ears.  People stop listening to you because they don’t want to always hear your assessment of their life.  I have learned to give it when people ask for it, but otherwise we need to learn to be SLOW TO SPEAK.


Speak Your Mind