Food for thought….Can you admit when you are wrong?

wrong

 

I come from an Italian family.  I remember my grandfather saying, even if your mother is wrong, she still is never wrong.  We fight to the death over things, because it is hard to mutter those despicable words “I was wrong”.  I avoid those words at all costs! I’m joking…..sort of.  But who wants to be wrong? I sure don’t, and I’m sure you don’t either.  This week, I did something that my husband asked me not to do.  Why? Because I thought my way was better than his.  (I’m still contemplating whether it WAS still better).  Do you want to know what the end result was? FAILURE, CATASTROPHE, and ANGER.  The first two things you would expect.  Yes it failed, but why the anger? I got angry that my husband asked me not to do something, and in the spur of the moment I told him it’s his fault that it didn’t work because he vexed me by telling me not to do it (even though it was a good idea).  I have to laugh at myself now. I blamed him for something that didn’t work because he asked me not to do it. Looking back I am wondering if I was just having a hormonal moment and not thinking clearly.

I couldn’t admit that I was wrong.  I HATED that it didn’t work, and I was furious. Here is the root of the problem….PRIDE.  I was too prideful to admit that my idea was not the best.  I was too prideful to tell someone else that they were right, and I was W.R.O.N.G! Wrong with a capital W! I still get flustered when I think about it.  What about you?  When your husband tells you to do or not to do something, what if you have a “better” idea? Can you admit that you are wrong? I hate to mutter those horrible words “I am wrong”.

“Pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice” Proverbs 13:10

Did you hear that? PRIDE BREEDS QUARRELS.  Wow, is that true! I think a lot of marriages struggle because neither spouse is willing to say “I was wrong”.  Instead they go on being annoyed with each other, and gripping the fact that they think the other person was wrong.  We are called to be submissive.  The Bible doesn’t say “be submissive only if you think your husband has a good idea” It says to be submissive!

Here is the thing ladies, your husband’s idea may stink, it may not be the best one, and it may drive you nuts.  When you love God and serve Him, he will give you the ability to JOYFULLY submit.  Without Him, you’ll find yourself in the same position I was in, angry, and unwilling to say you were wrong.  We are called to help our husbands, to serve alongside them, to be the keeper of our homes NOT the head of our homes, to cherish them, and to be humble in our role.

God is always working in us, He equips us to be a joy-filled wife who sets the tone for our homes to be joyful also.

 

 

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Comments

  1. I know I personally have a horrible time with this. I always think that my ideas are better than my husbands, and I never want to admit when they aren’t!

    • Marissa says:

      Brittany, I know!! It’s so hard to say “ok I’ll do it your way” when we think our idea is better. (even though sometimes it is 🙂 ) Thanks for stopping by. Come again!

  2. Julie Seeber says:

    Yes, I have a story along those lines. One time I was getting ready to go to a women’s event and it was at night. I asked my husband about taking a different route than I normally would take, just because I wondered if it would get me there quicker.
    He said to me, Julie, don’t go that way because there are a lot of deer around there and they will be hard to see when it gets
    dark. I did not like his answer because it gave me more information than I wanted and it thwarted my plan to take the newer
    route. So as an obedient wife of many years, as soon as I headed out of the drive way, I of course took the newer route. I ended up getting lost and had to go back to the original route that my husband told me to take. I was late to boot. As I was driving around kind of lost, I said okay Lord, I get the message. I should have just listened to my husband and not been so bull headed (another Italian trademark, at least in my house). Soooooooo….yes I can identify with you completely. I have other stories too, but I think that one captures my struggle.

    • Marissa says:

      Julie, that similar thing happened to me, only I DID hit the deer. 🙂 There was a dentist in Buffalo she was really nice and it was a lot cheaper than the dentist here, so I went to the dentist in Buffalo. Justin asked for me to find a closer dentist because he really didn’t want me driving back and forth to downtown Buffalo. I insisted that this was a great dentist even though it was well over an hour away. So, he insisted that I still find someone closer because it wasn’t safe to go there by myself. I, of course, thought that was ridiculous. So I made my next appointment (I let him know I was making it) and on the way home I got a flat tire! It was 6 oclock in the evening and just starting to get dark in the winter with a flat tire! Justin was at church so I had to have my dad come get me. He brought an air tank and the tire wasn’t really holding the air, he told me to hurry and drive home and we kept pulling over to refill it (looking back I’m not sure why we didn’t just use AAA to have it towed!) So then when I was almost home, I hit a deer! I pulled over to tell me dad and he responded with “Just keep driving, the tire isn’t going to hold” So I ended up with a flat tire, an annoyed dad, a dent in my car, and a husband that reminded me that I went against his wishes. Aghh.

  3. I can admit when I’m wrong, I just cannot say the words. I need more practice. I certainly have ample opportunity! Most of the time I burst into tears and that is just the end of the discussion.
    The second to last paragraph…YES!

    • Marissa says:

      Oh Elizabeth, your comment just made me laugh because I do the same. I burst into tears and that’s the end. Sometimes though, I fight till the death if I think I’m right. Even days later, I’ll remind him that my idea was better! God is still working on me though!

  4. It takes a humble person to admit that they are wrong. Sometimes it is hard, but should be done. We do not know everything and we will make mistakes. I know that I have made my share of them.

    • Betty, I agree completely. It does take humility to admit our wrongs, and I have lots of them as well! Thanks for stopping by! Come again! Join us for devotionals every morning at 8am 🙂