Food For Thought…Unforgiveness


But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses. Mark 11:22-26

One time a friend of mine sort of went off the deep end in her Christian walk.  This was someone that I was close with, looked up to, and listened to.  Someone that I took the time to really get to know.  There were no warning signs that I even saw, all of a sudden, one day her true colors came out and she was gone.  Left. Didn’t come back.  I was devastated at first, then anger followed. At the time, I couldnt believe that this woman didnt see her sin and selfishness.  It bothered me so much, it was all that I thought about for days.  The more I would think about it, the more angry I would get.  I was hurt, and my hurt caused anger to brew.  Anger is our defense mechanism when someone hurts us.

Let me tell you this ladies, unforgivness will drive you nuts.  It separates us from God.  (Isaiah 59:2) Outwardly, I told the Lord that I had forgiven her.  But inwardly, there was a different story.  You see, in our own strength, we cannot forgive, we cannot love, we cannot move on.  The power of the Holy Spirit in our lives is what enables us to forgive others.  In my own strength, I was trying to forgive.  But I held on to bitterness, resentment, anger, hurt, pain.  All those things breed in our hearts.  Our outward forgiveness is precisely unforgiveness.

That Sunday, my pastor taught about forgiveness, so I told God that I forgave her.  Think about that for a moment.  I didnt ask God to help me forgive her, but rather I TOLD God that I forgave her. Unforgiveness is sin, and it separates us from God. And it sure did separate me from God! I was miserable, impatient, annoyed at everything.  I remember my husband even asking me what was bothering me.  This went on for a few weeks.  Finally one night at a ladies’ prayer group, as I was silently listening to everyone’s prayers because I didnt feel like praying, a dear sweet sister said that she felt that God was speaking to her that someone in our prayer group had unforgiveness in their heart toward another sister.  I hadnt told anyone about my bitterness.  As soon as she said it, I began to cry. It was me.  I was bitter.  I was angry.  And I didnt want to forgive.  I cried and confessed to my sisters and to God that I was trying to forgive on my own terms and in my own strength.  

God’s mercy is amazing, it blows me away.  As soon as I confessed, I felt such peace.  Peace that I had wanted for weeks but didnt experience because I was trying to muster it up on my own. 

Ladies, unforgiveness will drive you crazy, and even worse it separates you from God.  Are you trying to forgive on your own?  Are you still bitter in your heart towards someone? Ask God to show you whats really in your heart.  I want to be forgiven.  So I must also forgive.  



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